Everyone knows about this blog. Even people I didn't expect to know of it.

It's time to let go.

Goodbye, my love......

my head was shaved. The first time I had to live in a space almost 24/7 with a bunch of strangers. The first time I had to handle a gun. The first time I fell into a depression so low that I had visions of hurting myself.

So it enrages me when advertisements playing on my idiot box say we should commemorate the 40th year anniversary, as if it's some kind of nostalgic memory to rely on. That it's something worth remembering for the right reasons.

Thank you NS for making me have blisters so bad that I could barely walk properly for a week. Thank you for robbing me of my time off. Thank you for taking 28 months of my life. Thank you for ensuring that your presence will continue to haunt me for a good part of the next 2 decades.

But most of all, thank you for giving me something to fight against.  I never saw the need to fight against the status quo beforehand.  But you changed all that and this is a belated fuck you thank you.

Discriminatory practises resulting in a hilarious advertisement...

Hi kitties! Remember me? It's A and I'll be back sporadically. Unfortunately, I can't tell you the reason why I've been MIA for so long but rest assured kitties, I am still existing (albeit by not existing).

Now, the owner of this blog (zut) has decided to take it easy after his brain was figuratively smashed by the exams. So by posting here, I am actually renting it out. Except that zut doesn't really own this blog, he just rents it. So I guess I'm just an illegal sub-lettee? Is there such a word? Haiz, A gets headaches sometimes and this can lead to A referring to itself in the third person/being/animal point of view.

Previously, I decided to give constructive comments on a forum letter, not before zut rudely interrupted me. Now, we have an understanding. So, today I want to share with you some interesting things I've come across lately.

Yesterday, there was a letter published in the forum. Haiz, I got very confused by the end of the letter. I don't know who to blame for this mess of a letter; is it the fault of the writer or the editor?

Having said that, I agree with the Government on the need to pay competitive wages to attract the right and best talent into service because, as the late David Marshall, SIngapore's first Chief Minister, put it: "We have lost sight of the joy and excitement of public service, helping our fellow men. We have lost the taste for heroic action in the service of our people. We don't understand the joy of living is not in the gold coins."

All A can say is, what has the first point got to do with David Marshall's speech? Correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't David Marshall imply that public service shouldn't be about the money? How does that support the first part? Apologies, but A can't believe that she/he/it came back for this. At least the architecture letter he/she/it commented on last year was comical.

Now not to be left out from pay hikes, NSFs will get a $50 increase in their monthly allowance from July onwards. What exciting news! Is this also done to prevent them from leaving the army for greener pastures in the private sector? Although that's not exactly possible so maybe this will help to improve work performance and motivation. Woohoo! It's exciting times. Most definitely. But err...  A is wondering, what's the benchmark for the allowance increase like? Since we're not fighting wars, then how to measure success of the contributions of the NSF? Or do we measure it by the fact that we don't go to war? Or by GDP?

Wah very confusing. A already has a headache. A thinks he/she/it should lie down.

of the course reserve in the library. Unfortunately, my mind's too preoccupied by the coming exams next week (3 papers in 48 hours! Bah!) Globalization of World Politics in particular is turning out to be a doozy - I can't get my head around the nitty gritty of the theories. I realized while mugging that I had, for my term paper, somehow lumped in social constructivism together with historical sociology. Grr. That's what happens when you're rushing for an essay on your friend's laptop on a public holiday called Chinese New Year, all because my dear laptop/lappy crashed and burned. And the essay was due the next day. Whee!

I should be studying about the different time threats to internal validity in a true experiment or how liberalism has developed from Locke all the way to Liberal Institutionalism. But I'm bored and restless. And freezing cold in the course reserve (even with a jacket).

Here's something funny/sad to share:

Me: Hey
Friend: Hey, going home so early?
Me: Yeah. Don't worry, I'll be back tomorrow morning, really early in the morning.
Friend: Alright then. Seeya!

It was 10pm at night. And the next day was a public holiday. Which is today. Horrible Motherf*cking Good Friday.

I think the local blogosphere has pretty much covered what needed to be covered on the issue of the pay rise of ministers. I've never been completely comfortable with the idea of benchmarking public sector pay to private sector pay because I've always felt that intrinsically, the jobs are different.

What I guess concerns me is that they have completely overlooked the entire concept of intrinsic motivation for a public sector employee such as a minister. You have been elected by the people. You have been elected to serve the people. This is a calling for some. This has intrinsic rewards.

Surely intrinsic rewards count? Must we monetarise and quantify every single thing that we do? Shouldn't the satisfaction of knowing that you have had a hand in formulating policies to improve the status of the populace be enough? Isn't this enough of an inducement for said minister to perform his/her job well? Must we resort to increasing salaries at the rate we're increasing?

Have we come to a point in time that we need monetary rewards to induce individuals to stay in a job where they can help improve the lives of the general public?

to be Malay? To be Muslim? To be Malay/Muslim?

I pondered this rhetorical question as I keep going back and forth on this idea of whether one can be a good Malay without being a good Muslim. Is being a good Muslim a pre-requisite for being a good Malay?

I've always felt uncomfortable with how community leaders and the government keeps referring to us as the Malay-Muslim community. It's something that's become so interchangeable, so intertwined in our daily use that the lines that separate these two separate identities are blurred. If I immerse myself in the cultural experience of my Malay heritage and forsake my religion, does that mean I am not a good Malay? What does good imply anyhow? Being subservient? Being polite? Being tolerant?

It is an artificially constructed box, much like the other boxes that are constructed in Singapore. Yes, most Malays are Muslims. But what about those Malays who reject Islam but are proud of their heritage? Where do they belong? It's amazing how no Malay celebrity or individual outrightly decries the religion. It's amazing how when they feature individuals, they leave out important details that are open secrets, that would show them as not being "good Muslims".

How did we get to this stage?

I will no longer post music-related entries on this blog anymore. They will now be posted at my new blog at http://whomedearmenome.blogspot.com

I'm trying this out on a trial basis as I'm trying to get this blog back to its format of being a blog concerned with socio-political issues. So bear with me folks, a new chapter has arrived.

Siobhan's back! The video's beautiful as well, not to mention that I'm really digging the direction she's moving into.

*yay*

A dear friend of mine once tried to convince me that if I wanted something badly enough, it will happen. I protested loudly, with eye-rolls in tow, but he insisted he was right. I didn't have the heart to disagree with him because he's just one of those people you meet who's so darn enthusiastic about most things that you can't help going along with it because you don't want to disappoint him/her.

There are so many things I want but I know I won't necessarily get them. I want to be able to run like the wind when in reality, I'm as slow as a tortoise. Sometimes, too many of the things I want are just superficial needs and I can't help feeling disappointed in myself. I don't want to be reduced to that.

Mostly I want to be myself. But I can never be who I want to be unless I free myself. But freeing myself isn't an option right now, not when it would sap my energy and my will. So I choose my battles wisely, in the hopes of eventually winning the war.

Just because I want to be free to be me doesn't mean I can. Not right now. And not in the near future.